About a year ago, we posted this information about the Arbinger Institute's book, Anatomy of Peace. One of the key themes of the book is that we can only make peaceful choices from a heart at peace and never from a heart at war. When our hearts are at peace, we see others as people -- that is, their cares and fears are as real to us as our own. When our hearts are at war, we see others as objects -- that is, they are obstacles, vehicles or irrelevant.
Another book that challenges us to improve our interactions with each other is Crucial Conversations. Its authors speak of "mastering" our stories and not making another person out to be a villain while making ourselves out to be helpless victims.
The Gospel for the Eleventh Sunday in Ordinary Time, Luke 7:36-8:3 (proclaimed just two days ago), speaks of a woman who wipes Jesus' feet with her hair and anoints them with ointment. We are told that this woman is "sinful." What does that mean? If our hearts are at war, it means that we need not treat her like a human being -- that is she is an obstacle or irrelevant in society. We justify this by telling ourselves stories about her and her sin. She's obviously a villain , we are obviously helpless victims of her presence, and Jesus is obviously unaware of her sinful status or he would never interact with her. At least, that's what we tell ourselves. . . .
In this Gospel, however, Jesus is undeterred by the hearts at war around him. Additionally, he is unaffected by the stories others are telling themselves. Jesus points out that the woman has "shown great love," and that's good enough for him.
What about our hearts? Do we treat those around us as obstacles or, even worse, as irrelevant? What stories do we tell ourselves about the actions of others in order to make ourselves feel better and to make others less than human in our eyes? Why do we do this? What does Jesus say about this?
This blog occasionally offers the reminder that peace and justice begin with individual actions. While signing petitions and calling our senators seem like greater actions, paying attention to our attitudes toward those we meet every day is more important in the grand scheme of things. After all, Jesus didn't say that the woman's many sins were forgiven because she contacted her elected official in Congress, but because she had shown great love.
When we are tempted to roll our eyes at the actions of another, make a snide comment to or about another, e-mail our friends to rally dislike against someone we perceive as having wronged us, or to do one of a whole host of other things that a heart at war would dictate, think of Jesus saying, "Your many sins are forgiven because you have shown great love."
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